written by Connor O’Neill
“That’s so gay”- an expression almost all of us will have encountered or perhaps even used at some point in time. This is evident in the fact that 98% of teens have reported having heard those very words in their classroom at school (Stonewall, 2017). However, what does the word “gay” actually mean? I recently overheard a group of teenagers using this exact expression when reacting to an unexpected homework deadline. The word “gay” by definition is: “sexually attracted to people of the same sex or gender and not to people of the opposite sex or gender.” (Cambridge Dictionary, 2021). So, what was so “gay” about this homework? The reality is that the context of the word “gay” determines which of its many socially constructed translations is applicable. The unchallenged association of the word “gay” with negativity has a detrimental impact on the mental health and self-esteem of many LGBTQ+ people, and this discriminatory and prejudiced dialect has become so normalised that it is now experienced by 90% of LGBTQ + teens at school (Kibirige & Try, 2017).
Often pacified or branded as “just a joke”, this casual gay-bashing lays the foundations for the deeply ingrained societal homophobic and transphobic attitudes that LGBTQ+ people face daily- and the consequences are grave. With 84% of LGBTQ+ teens claiming to have experienced mental health problems at some point in their life and 50% of them reporting to have considered suicide or experienced suicidal thoughts (Kibirige & Try, 2017), Britain must question its laissez-faire approach to this normalised bigotry before it’s too late.
“Not by me” you may be thinking to yourself as you read this, but the real question is — do you challenge them?
“Poof.” “Dyke.” “Faggot.” “Homo.” — the list goes on. When written down and read aloud, some may gasp at the gravity of these words. However, despite their negative and hostile tone, they are frequently used in everyday language (Fasoli et.al 2015). “Not by me” you may be thinking to yourself as you read this, but the real question is — do you challenge them? In a study of rugby players under the age of 20, 78% of participants admitted to hearing teammates use homophobic slurs during the two-week study period, without speaking out against it. 60% of the participants admitted to having used those words and nearly 50% said they had been the recipient of those slurs in the last year alone. (O’Halloran, 2018). When asked why they had used the slurs, the participants overwhelmingly reported that it was simply a “joke”. The word “joke” is defined as “a thing that someone says to cause amusement or laughter.” (Cambridge Dictionary, 2021). It wouldn’t be unreasonable therefore to argue that a “joke” would be employed in a situation to make it “more fun”, right? Interestingly, 71% of participants in the same survey said rugby would be “more fun” if homophobic jokes weren’t part of its culture. So, if not for fun, then why at all?
Britain isn’t homophobic. How could it be? It’s a country where LGBTQ+ citizens are legally able to marry, adopt and change their recognised gender. It’s also a country with a Prime Minister who has openly called gay men “tank-topped bum boys” and has refused to apologise for it (Merrick, 2019). However, LGBTQ+ Brits shouldn’t worry about that because homophobia is considered a hate crime in this country and is never acceptable. Unless it’s “just a joke”, that is. For too long homophobia has hid under the flag of humour, making it almost impossible to confront (Geraghty, 2012). One must look no further than 10 Downing Street for evidence of that. However, it should be acknowledged that the Prime Minister’s words were not intended to cause offence and were taken out of context. My question- in what context were those words ever acceptable?
Despite 50% of LGBTQ+ teens reporting to have considered suicide because of homophobic and transphobic jokes (Kibirige & Try, 2017), they remain socially acceptable because, when challenged, it is claimed that they are never purposely intended to cause offence. If, god forbid, you are offended by these slurs then it is you who is the problem. Not the slurs, the people using them nor the by-standers who laughed at your expense. It is you who should ‘lighten up’ and ‘chill out’ (Geraghty, 2012). Let’s role reverse. Can you imagine every time you turn on the T.V. a joke is told at your expense? There is this consensus that LGBTQ+ people should be somewhat grateful for the any representation they get, but should they?
Look no further than one of the most popular T.V. shows of all time, Friends. Nearly anytime LGBTQ+ people are brought up in the show’s script, it is for the purpose of humour (Lang, 2019). Or what about the ‘gay best-friend’ character who has featured in just about every rom-com and high school T.V. show known to man? Let’s take Damian in Mean Girls for example who is famously described as “almost too gay to function”. What does that actually mean? He is a character who is continuously used to reinforce stereotypes about gay men or to provide comic relief with irrelevant relationships unless they’re supporting a straight person’s story. (Linnell, 2020).
And everyone has seen Mrs. Doubtfire, viewed by many as one of the most uplifting movies of the 90s. However, it uplifts many at the expense of trans people. When you comb through the narrative closely, a lot of the humour relies on how strange it is for a man to be in a dress, and that is not a perspective that honours varying gender identities but lampoons them (Mell-Taylor, 2020). It is therefore no surprise that these attitudes continue to go unchecked when masked with humour. Why wouldn’t they? These slurs and comments may amuse others, but they do so by destructing, hurting, and demeaning the mental health of many of the LGBTQ+ community, with extremely dangerous consequences.
Another major problem surrounding this issue is the use of this language amongst members of the LGBTQ+ community themselves, which is something far harder to tackle. There are members of the LGBTQ+ community who will also use homophobic slurs like “poof”, “faggot” and “that’s so gay” in casual conversation. You may rightly ask, why would someone use such derogatory and degrading language towards themselves and the members of their own community? This is a complex issue, one with a deeper psychological aspect and which may seem confusing to many. An article published by The Rainbow Project (2021) claims that hearing and seeing negative depictions of the LGBTQ+ community can lead people to internalise these negative messages. However, LGBTQ+ people are equally as influenced by this socially ingrained homophobia just as much as any of their heterosexual counterparts. The same article goes on to identify low self-esteem and a bid for acceptance through humour as two noticeable signs of internalised homophobia within the LGBTQ+ community. These societal norms degrade LGBTQ+ people, teaching them that they are somewhat inferior and that the measure of their value comes from the part they can play in a joke.
Consequently, several LGBTQ+ people have become so reliant on humour to compensate for their lack of confidence and personal insecurities that such words and slurs have now become an integral part of their general vocabulary. This is just another consequential impact of the degrading and demeaning societal homophobic attitudes previously outlined in this article. However, this only adds fuel to a very large fire and delays any progress towards the eradication of such attitudes. If advances are to be made, all members of the LGBTQ+ community need to understand the impact of their language, why they are using it and come together to tackle these issues.
On reflection, it is undeniable that humour has not only normalised societal homophobia but has also provided it with a safe haven to flourish. The word “dyke” is used on average 4,000 times daily, “that’s so gay” comes in at 10,000 times daily and at number one, we have “faggot” which is used an eye-watering 45,000 times daily (Kibirige & Try, 2017). Our words matter, and this type of language not only degrades people based on their sexuality and gender identity, but it also creates a dangerous mentality that it is acceptable to treat LGBTQ+ people less favourably. This leads to implications for self-esteem and mental health, increases the risk of bullying and hate crimes and both insults and upsets the tens of thousands of people with LGBTQ+ friends and family who experience the real-life consequences of this socially constructed disease on a daily basis (Stonewall, 2017).
If you are someone who uses homophobic slurs, please take a moment to consider the impact and wider ramifications of your words. Your words are powerful.
To survive this disease, many members of the LGBTQ+ community degrade and demean themselves and their LGBTQ+ counterparts in a desperate attempt to conform to social norms and gain acceptance. However, one must be careful that the medicine administered should not harm the very patient it is intended to heal. The LGBTQ+ community must unite and face this challenge head on. This starts at home, by evaluating personal use of language and assessing its impact. In order to improve the dire mental health statistics currently present in the LGBTQ+ community, we all have a part to play. If you are someone who uses homophobic slurs, please take a moment to consider the impact and wider ramifications of your words. Your words are powerful, and it is the responsibility of everyone to take a zero-tolerance approach towards any form of homophobic language whenever we hear it, particularly when wrapped in humour (Adams et. al, 2010). If not, these “jokes” will only support homophobia to thrive at the expense of the mental health and lives of many of the LGBTQ+ community, and there is absolutely nothing funny about that.
